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“The Guardian” declare : Philip Hammond’s budget jokes

collected by :Maolly Tony

as declared in

Twenty-four years ago, Norman Lamont also presented what was billed then as the last spring budget … The then prime minister described it as the right budget, at the right time, from the right chancellor.
Philip Hammond showed he had a sense of humour when he presented his first budget – lacing his speech on the state of Britain’s economy with a number of jokes.
Well, not quite announce them, Mr Deputy Speaker, because my right honourable friend the prime minister’s already announced two of them.
The chancellor had MPs in stitches, even though Jeremy Corbyn may well have not been laughing along.
Here we pick our five favourite gags from the chancellor’s speech:On Norman Lamont getting sackedThe Treasury has helpfully reminded me that I am not the first chancellor to announce the last spring budget.

as informed in

True to character, his Budget yesterday was one of the dullest of the post-war era.
True to character, Hammond’s Budget yesterday was one of the dullest of the post-war eraGeorge Osborne took time off from so obscenely lining his pockets to make a rare visit to Parliament yesterday.
Osborne liked Hammond — in part because he always did what he was told and had no opinions of his own.
Now, he must advise his former apprentice Philip Hammond that he urgently needs to make a similar U-turn.
He symbolically chose the seat from where Ken Clarke (another former Tory Chancellor) used to listen when Osborne delivered his Budgets.

Philip Hammond's budget is incompetent, says PETER OBORNE*/

as informed in

Philip Hammond’s budget to hit smokers as price of pack of cigarettes will cost at least £8.82

Philip Hammond's budget to hit smokers as price of pack of cigarettes will cost at least £8.82*/

But the jump narrowly missed analyst expectations for a 1.9 per cent increase, just below the Bank of England’s official 2 per cent target.
In its latest Inflation Report, the Bank upgraded its 2017 GDP growth forecast to 2 per cent, up from 1.4 per cent in November.
According to data from the Office for National Statistics published on Tuesday, January’s rise was the biggest since June 2014.
Shares in the US fell 16 per cent before being halted from trading, wiping $2.3bn (£1.88bn) off the company’s market value.
The Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) said these “extraordinary price rises” have costs taxpayers “tens of millions of pounds”.

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